Listening Mistake: Filtering

Filtering means we let some information in and block other information out.

For example, you come home late again from work and your wife gets angry. She says, “I can not do this anymore. I have too much to do to wait for you to get home. And when you do get home, you just sit in front of the computer all night. You promise to change, but don’t.”

You are filtering if your first, automatic thought is, “What a controlling nag! Doesn’t she appreciate how hard I work to make money in this bad economy?”

The information your blocking is how much she loves you, wants you home, enjoys your company, may be overwhelmed, and desperate to find some solution to your pattern of making promises you don’t keep.

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